Tonight I kinda' lost it.  I think it is that I've had three full days of kids (soon to be 4) and that's a big difference and big adjustment from the schedule I was having while I was in school.  Plus you add in there the chaos of Disneyland and the Aquarium and children running around and you have a bit of exhaustion.

Other things hit me too.  Like fear and emotion I've tried not to let get to me so I just kind of had a melt down. 

It happened, funny enough, after watching Jessica Simpson's episode of 'Driven' on VH1.  I just can't watch those shows because it just makes me sick about myself.  Like why I haven't decided to pay for voice lessons when I want them so badly and stuff like that.  It just fristrates me to know that I could do just as good as those people on American Idol or that are on "Driven."  I could be just as good as the Jessica Simpson's, Mandy Moores and Britney Spears' out there. 

So I got upset from watching "Driven" and then I came to my computer and just got more fristrated.  Then it restarted and I was angry at my computer so I just decided to go for a run.  I got into some tennis shoes and I ran until I was just angry and started to cry a little about nothing in particular.  I called my best friend and she didnt answer her phone.  Then I ran a while and called another friend and just walked to the beach.

Now I am completely exhausted and I have to work tomorrow at 9 AM so I think that I am going to go and hit the sack.

Goodnight.